17 May
2012

Bloghop against Homophobia

A couple of years ago I was talking to an acquaintance, telling her all about my friends staying the weekend, when she suddenly asked if they are gay.

I nodded, though I was sure I’d told her about them before. What I didn’t expect was her next comment.

“Oh, we have those sort of people in our community.”

I was trying to think of something to say when she started telling me about a lesbian couple who regularly attended their church services, adding, “But they don’t act that way.” for good measure.

I was gobsmacked when she kept talking and it slowly dawned on me that she thought she was being open minded and accepting. Yet she kept referring to the lesbian couple as “those sort of people” every single time.

She had no idea she was setting them apart. No idea at all.

 

Today, on International Day Against Homophobia, I’m banning the “those sort of people” comment, because “those sort of people” don’t exist. We may all be different and unique individuals, but we’re all human beings. Who we sleep with, have sex with, really shouldn’t matter, shouldn’t be anyone’s business but ours.

Today, over 240 participants will be blogging about spreading awareness of homophobia and standing together as an m/m writer community against discrimination of what we write.

Hop on board, show your support, and speak up against homophobia by visiting all our blogs and reading all our stories. We’re not sending you hopping for nothing, though. At every port there are prizes to win. (For a list of all participants, click the image)

 

So, what am I giving away today, and what do you need to do to win?
The winner has a choice of The Forester, The Fifth Son or, if you don’t mind waiting until the end of July, a digital or print version of my upcoming SF/suspense novel Aliens, Smith and Jones.
No country restrictions on the print version, I’m sending it worldwide.

Entering is simple, leave a comment and a valid email address, though you are free to share your own stories on homophobia. I’d love to hear them.

This contest will run until midnight the 20th. I’ll announce the winner on the 21st. Good Luck!

It was brought to my attention that the comment function isn’t working for everyone. For those who have problems, you can try commenting on my livejournal

47 comments on “Hop Against Homophobia

  1. Hi Blaine! I heard about this hop, but never got a chance to sign up.
    patricialynne07(@)gmail(.)com

    • Blaine D. Arden on said:

      Thanks for visiting, Patricia :)
      Though I still ppl were still signing up. Otoh, there’s always next year :)

  2. Kaje Harper on said:

    That she was trying to be accepting is a baby step forward; that she was failing is a pity. Hopefully “those lesbians” in her church will over time become “Susan and Andrea” and the acceptance will become real.

    And congrats on the forthcoming Aliens, Smith and Jones. The rough draft was already very cool.

    • Blaine D. Arden on said:

      Knowing her religion, I have my doubts, but yeah… It is a way of trying. I hope they’ll get there in the end :)
      and thank you :)

  3. Oh so true about church communities – every sympathy with you! I’m proud to be Christian and pro-gay and hugely pro-”Susan and Andrea”, but it’s a long long road for the churches as a whole, alas …

    Wonderful post!

    albrookeATmeDOTcom

    Anne
    xxx

    • Blaine D. Arden on said:

      I was already pro-gay/diversity before I became a Catholic. The priest I spoke to then was very open-minded (nothing of the ‘those sort of people’). Unfortunately, it seems Cathoilcism is trying to travel back in time, instead of embracing progress and future…
      It is definitely a long road, but I’m keeping my faith :)

  4. Oh dear. I guess she meant well.

    I often hear people, especially older people, say outrageous things because they don’t have the vocabulary to phrase it any other way. I’m sure I’d be one of them if i hadn’t been lucky enough to find the resources online to get just a bit educated. But it’s a slow learning process even for people who are willing.

    A step at a time. Fingers crossed we’ll get there.

    elingregory at gmail dot com

    • Blaine D. Arden on said:

      That’s the clincher, I think. She DID mean well, it just didn’t come out that way.
      Baby steps and fingers crossed, it is :)

  5. Good morning, I wanted to say how much I admire you for banding together with so many authors for such a worthy cause. Good luck in your endeavors.

    Missy Martine
    ten.t1397972545sacmo1397972545c@eni1397972545tramy1397972545ssim1397972545
    http://www.missymartine.com

  6. gigi on said:

    Isn’t it funny how some “Christians” are so unchristian?!!

    • Blaine D. Arden on said:

      baffling. Love thy neighbour, as long as they fit our list of who’s worthy… So NOT the point of that.

  7. Love should always triumph over hate and I believe it always will.

    moc.o1397972545ohay@1397972545RDFyl1397972545rebmi1397972545k1397972545

  8. Oh, god “those kinds of people”. I’ve never heard it from coworkers, but I hear it a lot from customers. I liked the one who told me all about her gay neighbors, but was quick to assure me that they “never acted funny” and seemed “pretty normal”. I have no clue what either of those things is supposed to mean.

    moc.o1397972545ohay@1397972545eniak1397972545yr1397972545

    • Blaine D. Arden on said:

      So strange when they say that, isn’t it? I’ve never seen any difference (of course, that’s as much a con as it is a pro…), but it’s taken me a while to realise the world doesn’t share my views…

  9. This is why we need to educate people (and yes I know this sounds condescending)
    Your ‘friend’ did probably think she was being open-minded because she didn’t say anything hateful about ‘those kinds of people’, but simply by singling them out, she did anyway.
    She didn’t know any better, so in a gentle, but firm way, we should somehow make it clear to them that “these people” are just like you and me and just like THEM!
    We’ll get there eventually.
    But being patient is hard….

    • Blaine D. Arden on said:

      Patience is so not my virtue (though… seeing as I’m raising teens, patience seems to be part of my every day life).
      And we WILL get there :) We will. People just need to open their eyes.

  10. *waves to Blaine*

    I actually enjoy meeting people like your friend because it gives me a chance to educate them. They type of people who “think” they are being accepting, more times than not, just need to have their eyes opened the rest of the way. It’s the ones who have their eyes so tightly closed and their hatred so instilled in their heart and mind that will forever be the thorn in our sides.

    Thanks for sharing the story about your friend!

    bcothernbooksATgmail.com

    • Blaine D. Arden on said:

      *waves back*
      I never know what to say to them… so I’ll often end up quietly seething and not saying anything

  11. Andrea on said:

    I couldn’t agree with you more!

    andreagrendahl AT gmail DOT com

  12. but..but… I like “those kind of people….I do not like people who don’t like those kind of people

  13. You know what? I’m seeing that she’s trying to be open-minded which is better than being deliberately obtuse. My biological mother used to always say that her two gay coworkers were good men “in spite of” them being gay, which was her way of being open-minded. I preferred her stance as opposed to her husband’s stance of “that’s so nauseating and disgusting,” in reference to an effeminate man on television, not even a gay couple. Thank you for eliminating the “these people” comments today. Thank you for taking a stand against homophobia/transphobia today. One day, hopefully, there won’t be a need for taking a stand for it and we’ll have a hop for the day when homophobia/transphobia became the minority, or was a distant memory.

  14. OK, I don’t have homophobia episodes to tell, except maybe colleagues whispering “you know, the one who’s gay” (and I go “who?” – I genuinely don’t know who he’s talking about, LOL). And the non-m/m-lover friends who go yuck when I tell them I like m/m romance like a lot of other straight women. OK, maybe that’s homophobia. So there you have it! :-)
    (and WordPress is much more comment-friendly than Blogger’s catchpa!)

  15. dawn on said:

    “Those kind of people…” Just makes my skin crawl! My husband, who is bisexual, recently admitted this to himself and came out to a few friends and his adult children. They accepted it whole heartedly (“Ummm, Dad — it’s about time you told us! Whatta mean, you didn’t figure it out until now?”) — however, he has to be careful who knows, as his job as a teacher would be in jeapordy. He has to put up with members of the staff making jokes about the GLBTQ community and stuff — some days, he comes home feeling really rotten that he can’t yell back at them and make a stand… good post!

    romancewiththeflemingtons.blogspot.com

  16. Thank you for taking part in our blog. It saddens me that so many people are narrow minded bigots, it saddens me even more that some people don’t even realise they are. One day fingers crossed – we will all be considered equal.

  17. Trix on said:

    Great post. It would be nice someday if people could just see each other as people, not categories.

  18. Emily W. on said:

    I’ve met people like that before, who think they’re being open-minded. Being open-minded means you except people as they are and treat them the same way you treat everyone, not by setting them apart as :those people”. I’ve been treated like that before and while it’s not outright homophobia or bias, it’s ignorant and hurts just like having someone call you names. We’re all people and I agree, it doesn’t matter who you love or what you do or what you are and saying crap like “those people” isn’t appropriate or open-minded.

  19. I am one of “those kind of people”, and proudly so. Thank you for your blog, and for standing up for us, because I celebrate people like you—our “straight” allies. Your strength brings more to the “fight” than you can ever realize. —wtprater

  20. Foretta on said:

    Thanks for participating in the hop. This is a great cause that I pray one day will not be needed.

    moc.o1397972545ohay@1397972545esora1397972545ttero1397972545f1397972545

  21. Anastasia K on said:

    Those kinds of people? Wow it amazes me how studip some people can be.

  22. Penumbra on said:

    When people make comments like the one you mentioned, I’m left speechless. My brain just can’t seem to register that a person would say that and I can’t come up with anything in response.

    Thanks for participating in this great blog hop. I’m enjoying all the posts :)

    penumbrareads(at)gmail(dot)com

  23. Yvette on said:

    I am not sure why people feel the need to tell others who they can love.
    Yvette
    moc.l1397972545oa@lo1397972545rtapt1397972545ary1397972545

  24. I know people like that woman as well. There is another post here on the hop (sorry I forget whose – I have read nearly a hundred so far) which says quite clearly that the subtle discrimination needs to be stamped out as well. It is very true indeed.

    lmbrownauthor at gmail dot com

  25. SheriV on said:

    I think we all know someone who sets people apart without realizing it. I really hope that one day she and everyone else can realize that we are in fact all human and should be treated equally no matter our status in life.

  26. Layladawna on said:

    Thanks for sharing with us!

    burchills AT gmail DOT com

  27. Short, but SO to the point!

    “…it slowly dawned on me that she thought she was being open minded and accepting.”

    Thank you so much for sharing that.

  28. Thanks for the sharing and agree with you so much!

  29. Ashley E on said:

    At least she was trying, although hopefully she’ll learn to really treat them the same as any other couple. Being around them on a regular basis might change her attitude!

  30. Peggy on said:

    Love the post. This hop has been great, really enjoyed it.

    moc.e1397972545vil@41397972545891yg1397972545gep1397972545

  31. Judi P on said:

    I really don’t understand how people can just automatically categorize a group of people they don’t like into “Those types” or “Them” and “us”. since when did we become two separate species? We’re all PEOPLE.
    PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE.
    No matter how much I think about it, I’ll never understand how someone can just… categorize another human being into something separate form them. Especially when that human being is a member of their own family.
    I hope our future generations aren’t so full of hate and prejudice. I hope Things change in our future, for the better.

    Thanks for being a part of this blog hop.

    Judi
    arella3173_loveless(at)yahoo(dot)com

  32. Blaine D. Arden on said:

    I’m closing the contest. I’ll announce the winner sometime today.

    You can still react to the post, of course :)

    Thank you all for your wonderful comments and support of our fight against homophobia, transphobia, otherphobia

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